I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
My vagina is very pro this idea
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
