no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
