I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Randomize
