You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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