I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
