So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
