ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
