Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
