Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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