Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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