I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
cat food counts as protein by the way
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
