Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
