Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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