What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
