I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
