ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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