I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
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