Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I am puke
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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