I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
COCAINE IS GR8
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
My vagina is very pro this idea
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
