I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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