hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
