Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize