forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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