Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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