the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
