Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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