The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
