you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
