She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
