i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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