My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
