Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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