I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
someone owes me an orgasm
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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