My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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