i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
