I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
