Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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