Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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