She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize