You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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