"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Randomize
