He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Randomize
