She is in my trunk
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Randomize
