I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
