I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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