What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
