Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize