You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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