Apparently you make a good broom.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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