it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
so much tequila, so little girl.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
