I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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