I heard we made out
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
