96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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