I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
