ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
