how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
