I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
