I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
