Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he shaved USA in his pubs
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
