i permit you to call me
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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