Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
