Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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