So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
